when at first you don’t succeed…

21 Feb when at first you don’t succeed…

Our weekend: Cloudy skies. Long sleeves. An intermittent, hard rain that washed the desert clean.

I drove to the grocery store in a wind and rain storm to get some milk for the kids, and for my coffee. During the short walk from my car to the doorway, the wind nearly blew me over. The ends of my hair slapped me in the face. A palm frond cartwheeled in front of me like a tumbleweed. This couldn’t be more perfect weather, I thought.

I cut through the baking aisle on the way to dairy, and I saw it. The unflavored gelatin. I knew I had to try, try again. I grabbed it, some light corn syrup and a candy thermometer.

Kris is heading into the wilderness for 4 days, and I’m nervous about that. I’m always a bit nervous about his adventures; a good nervous. The kind of jitters that remind me I’m alive and sane….because what sane person’s heart wouldn’t beat a little faster when their love is out-of-reach and off climbing mountains and descending canyons with ropes?

But also nervous because my body remembers that weekend not long ago when I thought maybe I’d lost him forever, and nothing felt safe. My mind has gotten over it. Emotionally I’m fine. But there’s residue in my nervous system. That fight-or-flight response is still easily triggered.

I cope with stress by creating. Write. Cook. Craft. Photograph. Make something pretty. Look for the joy in small things. So I tried marshmallows again. I figured Kris could take some on his trip, and I’d have a few to savor while he’s gone.

Kris entertained the kids so that I could follow the directions closely this time. And they turned out beautifully. I still wouldn’t call the process “easy,” but it wasn’t that hard, really. Just sticky and messy. But one taste and soooooo worth it. I think I’ll get through.

My love. He’ll be sitting on a rocky ledge somewhere, surrounded by his climbing compadres, with his wife’s homemade marshmallows floating in his Swiss Miss. Can you see it?

P.S. Also, I know I promised you all a story about my spaghetti catching fire. I’m going to post that on The Daily B facebook page. So, if you haven’t already, go to the column on the right and hit “like” so you have access to all the extras.

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