why we mamas cling to our boys

06 Jul why we mamas cling to our boys

Today, my husband taught my son to say “Sasquatch.”

My boy, with his blue headlight eyes and hair so blonde it’s transparent. Get him wet and he’s bald as the day he was born.
My boy who can barely say other, simpler words like “milk” and “car.”
He fastens himself to me like a baby chimpanzee. Wherever I go, he follows and cries “down! down!” when really he means “up! I want up!” He’s happiest in a soft carrier strapped to my back or perched on my hip.
I’m tired. But I stop myself short of complaining. One day I will miss this. I will miss cooking awkwardly, uncomfortably, almost dangerously with my left hand while the boy’s chubby bottom occupies my right. I will miss the sound of his bare feet slapping the tile floor to the rhythm of mama mama mama.
There’s a theory…not mine, but one I’ll adopt: Boys soak up their mamas when they’re small. They devour every ounce of nurturing. They kiss their daddies on the lips and burrow deep into mama’s chest because society has not yet told them not to. One day they will steel themselves against these tender, vulnerable, needy moments. So, for now, they crave more than their share. Deep in their round bellies, they stow away this raw, pure, naked love to draw upon later.
I scoop him up one more time and he says “sass-satch,” spit flying from his cotton candy lips. And I say, “yes, Sasquatch.” It’s a hint of what is to come, this word that’s hard to pronounce and beyond his comprehension. One day, sooner than I would like, he will know what Sasquatch means and he won’t want to cling to me quite so tightly. Independence and masculinity will drop down like a veil between us.
I sense the fragility. So, with sore biceps, and a mind that craves more sleep, more quiet, I do my best to fill his well. And he fills mine.
  • Jessie Jaques
    Posted at 17:05h, 06 July Reply

    Wow. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!!! I think you’re right… I don’t have kids myself, but I see those needy baby boy tendencies all around me… My little brother was like that.
    Loved this.

  • Brandy
    Posted at 17:43h, 06 July Reply

    Beautiful, just beautiful.

  • Sarah Buttenwieser
    Posted at 02:12h, 07 July Reply

    My nearly sixteen year-old loves to curl up to me & put his head on my shoulder. Thirteen year-old walks with me to town hand-in-hand.

    Don’t let society tell you you will inevitably lose them or their softness or their need for you.

    But letting these sweet exhausting times fill us up, do it. (but it’s okay not to do it each & every time when you are tired).

  • Mama Martel
    Posted at 19:30h, 07 July Reply

    I have found the same as Sarah. My 12 year old boy still calls me “Mama” and will hold my hand when we walk and cuddle up with me on the couch. The only time he pulls away from my shower of kisses is in front of his school. 😉 Having 5 brothers, I’ve come to learn that a boy always craves that soft nurturing love from his mother and that as he ages he also becomes quite protective of her. There is nothing like the love of a son!

  • Gina
    Posted at 19:35h, 07 July Reply

    That is encouraging news. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I will of course do my best to counter the gender stereotypes the kids will inevitably face and preserve his tender spirit as he grows up. But that won’t stop me from savoring every moment now 🙂

  • Mrs. LIAYF
    Posted at 05:58h, 16 July Reply

    My boy turned 4 just a few weeks ago. He still wants his “mama”, snuggling with me whenever he can and asking me to carry him when he is tired. I have super biceps now – and love the monkey hugs. Plus, he’s very tender and caring with me while a wild romper with daddy. I didn’t have brothers or a father, so I’m so amazed at the pure joy of having a boy.

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